My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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