Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
