PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
