I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
