If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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