if you like me you must not know who I am
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
