Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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