I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
