I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
