For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
