Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
