I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
