I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
