OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
