Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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