? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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