I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
