Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
