wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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