I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
