I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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