I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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