We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
