took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
