East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You need Xanax blowdarts
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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