She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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