Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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