this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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