my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
