i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
