oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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