if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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