im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
