Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We had sex on a dog bed..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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