You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
