i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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