A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
