i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
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