I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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