addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
