no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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