you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
