She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
