put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You ate ashes out of my bong
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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