who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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