We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
