i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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