I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
