hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
