accomplished twins. life is a go
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
