Duck Duck Cougar?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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