you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize