I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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