look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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