is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Randomize
