i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
