If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
