just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize