But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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