sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
