We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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