well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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