Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
