she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
