Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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