Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
