I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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