dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
