your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
