Quick, to the slutcave!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
