She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
